So how is your school year going so far? By this time in the month of September, most of us have started our usual school routine. Are things going smoothly? Or perhaps they are not? I can remember some years that were rather rocky in the beginning, but this year seems to be going along smoother than others. Why?
Perhaps it's because of my newly established Boundaries regarding our school day. I read this book that changed my life:
Years ago someone gave me a copy of this book. Before I could read it, I loaned it out, and never got it back. Perhaps that was my first clue that I had a problem with Boundaries. I was sure, however, that I didn't have a problem, and that I didn't need the book anyway. Wrong!
Last year, our church did a study on Boundaries. Because I had seen the book before, I was interested and signed up immediately. So what's a Boundary, anyway?
According to the authors Cloud and Townsend, a Boundaries are "anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else, or shows you where to begin or end." Sounds logical enough, right? It should be easy, but it's not. Boundary issues can come into play in many ways in our lives including relationships with parents, siblings, children, friends, co-workers, peers and church groups. Plus, I think that when you educate your children at home, that throws in a whole new dimension of boundary issues.
The book begins with a day in the life of Sherrie. Sherrie is a Mom, married, works full time and has 3 kids. Her day never works out the way she expects it will. She gets up late every day, the kids do too and are constantly late for school. Not only do her kids have discipline problems, but she has to rearrange her morning to get them to school on time and meet with the principal about her behavior. She puts her makeup on in the car on the way there. The church calls: they want her to lead a bible study, her Mom calls: she wants to come and visit, her friends call and tell her all their problems. Sherrie is overweight, tired and exhausted, can't get her sewing projects or housework done, is overwhelmed at work and constantly has to bring her work home with her. Her husband is crabby, and un-supportive, the entire house is chaos all the time. Sound familiar to anyone?
I think many of us can relate to Sherrie. We gradually take on more and more without really even thinking about it. Then one day we wake up having dreams that we are slowly drowning. Boundaries can get you back on track.
Still not convinced you have a boundary issue? See if you have any of these "symptoms":
High blood pressure
Loss of temper
Feeling overwhelmed
Headaches
Inability to get things done
Depression
Inability to concentrate
Crying spells
Feeling sorry for yourself
Feeling trapped
Panic attacks
Feeling left out
Being disorganized
Worrying
Being envious
Ulcers
Fatigue
Eating/Drinking too much
Development of allergies
Procrastinating
Overweight
Resentment
Obsessive/Compulsive Behaviors
Quite a list isn't it? When I first thought about boundaries, I never imaged all that it would encompass. I never imagined what a difference having boundaries can make. I never even thought I had a problem. After I took the Boundaries class however, I realized not only did I have a problem, but I had a problem of ENORMOUS proportions.
How did I get there? Life never used to be that way. Then I learned that people with Boundary issues first have to recognize they have a problem. Then, take ownership of it, and finally are able resolve it. This is not easy, especially since the problem can be two dimensional. For example, you may not have boundaries, and someone else may constantly be over stepping the line where the boundaries SHOULD be. A person like this needs a support group specifically to find where their boundaries should be and how to keep them there, sometimes even professional help.
Cloud and Townsend have won many awards for this book. It has not only sold millions of copies, but there are bible studies, audio versions, videos, Cd's, DVDs and yes CHILDREN'S CURRICULUM (for all ages even preschool) that are available on this book. There are also many specific books for teens, dating, marriages, friends etc. on specific Boundary issues and how to handle them.
There is much more information on Boundaries available at the Cloud and Townsend website here.
Specific curriculum can be found on their shopping page under store.
Why do homeschoolers need Boundaries? We are at home all the time with the kids. Not only does the home have to function efficiently, but we are also are Principals, wives, mothers, maids, cooks, and taxi drivers. Many homeschoolers also run home businesses, day cares, co-ops, bible studies, and do scores of volunteer work for the community. How much can we possibly do with out having a boundary issue? We already do too much as mom's, we just think it's okay to take on more and more. Eventually you will burn out, guaranteed. Many a mom has sent her home schooled children back to school, not because of academics ( this is rarely the issue), but because of the problems her lack of Boundaries causes.
The Boundaries book ends with another look at a day in the life of Sherrie, this time with proper Boundaries. Her life is completely different. I can't give you all the details, you will have to read the book, but it is a staggering transformation, one you won't want to miss reading about for yourself.
Good luck enforcing your Boundaries this school year!
Designer Mom
Perhaps it's because of my newly established Boundaries regarding our school day. I read this book that changed my life:
Years ago someone gave me a copy of this book. Before I could read it, I loaned it out, and never got it back. Perhaps that was my first clue that I had a problem with Boundaries. I was sure, however, that I didn't have a problem, and that I didn't need the book anyway. Wrong!
Last year, our church did a study on Boundaries. Because I had seen the book before, I was interested and signed up immediately. So what's a Boundary, anyway?
According to the authors Cloud and Townsend, a Boundaries are "anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else, or shows you where to begin or end." Sounds logical enough, right? It should be easy, but it's not. Boundary issues can come into play in many ways in our lives including relationships with parents, siblings, children, friends, co-workers, peers and church groups. Plus, I think that when you educate your children at home, that throws in a whole new dimension of boundary issues.
The book begins with a day in the life of Sherrie. Sherrie is a Mom, married, works full time and has 3 kids. Her day never works out the way she expects it will. She gets up late every day, the kids do too and are constantly late for school. Not only do her kids have discipline problems, but she has to rearrange her morning to get them to school on time and meet with the principal about her behavior. She puts her makeup on in the car on the way there. The church calls: they want her to lead a bible study, her Mom calls: she wants to come and visit, her friends call and tell her all their problems. Sherrie is overweight, tired and exhausted, can't get her sewing projects or housework done, is overwhelmed at work and constantly has to bring her work home with her. Her husband is crabby, and un-supportive, the entire house is chaos all the time. Sound familiar to anyone?
I think many of us can relate to Sherrie. We gradually take on more and more without really even thinking about it. Then one day we wake up having dreams that we are slowly drowning. Boundaries can get you back on track.
Still not convinced you have a boundary issue? See if you have any of these "symptoms":
High blood pressure
Loss of temper
Feeling overwhelmed
Headaches
Inability to get things done
Depression
Inability to concentrate
Crying spells
Feeling sorry for yourself
Feeling trapped
Panic attacks
Feeling left out
Being disorganized
Worrying
Being envious
Ulcers
Fatigue
Eating/Drinking too much
Development of allergies
Procrastinating
Overweight
Resentment
Obsessive/Compulsive Behaviors
Quite a list isn't it? When I first thought about boundaries, I never imaged all that it would encompass. I never imagined what a difference having boundaries can make. I never even thought I had a problem. After I took the Boundaries class however, I realized not only did I have a problem, but I had a problem of ENORMOUS proportions.
How did I get there? Life never used to be that way. Then I learned that people with Boundary issues first have to recognize they have a problem. Then, take ownership of it, and finally are able resolve it. This is not easy, especially since the problem can be two dimensional. For example, you may not have boundaries, and someone else may constantly be over stepping the line where the boundaries SHOULD be. A person like this needs a support group specifically to find where their boundaries should be and how to keep them there, sometimes even professional help.
Cloud and Townsend have won many awards for this book. It has not only sold millions of copies, but there are bible studies, audio versions, videos, Cd's, DVDs and yes CHILDREN'S CURRICULUM (for all ages even preschool) that are available on this book. There are also many specific books for teens, dating, marriages, friends etc. on specific Boundary issues and how to handle them.
There is much more information on Boundaries available at the Cloud and Townsend website here.
Specific curriculum can be found on their shopping page under store.
Why do homeschoolers need Boundaries? We are at home all the time with the kids. Not only does the home have to function efficiently, but we are also are Principals, wives, mothers, maids, cooks, and taxi drivers. Many homeschoolers also run home businesses, day cares, co-ops, bible studies, and do scores of volunteer work for the community. How much can we possibly do with out having a boundary issue? We already do too much as mom's, we just think it's okay to take on more and more. Eventually you will burn out, guaranteed. Many a mom has sent her home schooled children back to school, not because of academics ( this is rarely the issue), but because of the problems her lack of Boundaries causes.
The Boundaries book ends with another look at a day in the life of Sherrie, this time with proper Boundaries. Her life is completely different. I can't give you all the details, you will have to read the book, but it is a staggering transformation, one you won't want to miss reading about for yourself.
Good luck enforcing your Boundaries this school year!
Designer Mom
Great post! It makes you really think. To be honest I had most of those symptoms, but never thought about having boundaries issues. Honesty, I just figured it was life. I am not sure if people really over step , more than I just have to many things on my plate. The problem is for me that I cant get rid of any of mine. Between work, my school (In college), taking the kids to dance, sports, etc. On top of homeschooling needs ( with my oldest being in Highschool gotten more demanding). Not sure what I can really do, kwim. I just try to relax by getting on here and reading these wonderful blogs like yours and websites like LetsHomeschoolHighschool.com. Doing so helps me feel not alone and gives me that needed pep to keep going :) Still, I will get that book and see what it may be able to do. So, thankyou for sharing!
ReplyDelete"Perhaps that was my first clue that I had a problem with Boundaries." That is hilarious!!! I have definitely learned over the years to have healthy boundaries when it comes to everything/everyone outside my immediate family. I can definitely see, though, your point about homeschool moms struggling with it within their own families. Thanks for encouraging us with this at Trivium Tuesdays!
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